Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
STORY OF MY LIFE PT. 22 BY JAKE MCCLINTICK 5/23/19
Most my thoughts myself not so nice. My mom might be helping me, God most loves me. Like to know I not really worthless. Really so much more love I can have if I let my heart not be cold towards myself.
Not easy to do, I have good reasons not to like myself. I have more reasons than most to have self-hate. Most only stop not nice thoughts, not ideal having my hate in my heart.
I deal my sorting out thoughts differently than most not have autism. Now I can most time have a better, nice thought love. God is with me. Most I need to do is not make myself angry so I can feel better about nice life I have.
Cold heart is too hard to hear God. Soft heart hears God better. To have a loving heart most important.
Each day I have to have memory so I not have hate myself. Most hope I can get to myself before not nice thoughts take over my mind. Not sure I can, but I’m doing better most days.
Regardless, this low-tech alternative communication system has been an answered prayer for us both. At the age of 22 he began expressing his very personal thoughts and feelings more fluently with me (his mom), and it was his idea to begin writing “The Story of My Life” one day. This was his 22st entry to that story. He is diagnosed with severe autism as well as intermittent explosive disorder. He has given me permission to share his story and our conversations. He continually expresses his desire to “find purpose” to his life…I hope his willingness to share will help others learn about this misunderstood condition known as “autism” that has so much to teach us all.
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