Jake struggles off and on with what he continually refers to as “lies,” “bad thoughts,” or “evil thoughts.” These can be quite persistent in taking over his mind, and I can usually tell when he is struggling because he will start telling himself “NO!” out loud, sometimes while angrily looking at himself in the mirror. While it can be heart-wrenching to hear him express this torment to me (Tara, his mom), I thank Jesus that he finally has the ability to explain via RPM and a letter board!
One of the ways the bible teaches us to deal with harmful thoughts and beliefs is to renew our minds by focusing on His promise of peace (John 14:27). Having the freedom to choose our thoughts is easier said than done, and very personal. I asked Jake if he would like to think of 10 good thoughts that made him feel happy and peaceful. He was a bit shaky getting started, but after the first three got on a roll……this is his list:
Jake’s 10 Good Thoughts
1. Life can be happy.
2. So many stars!
3. Really so much I not have to worry about.
4.To have my reality most special.
5. Only I not have to do stupid talking all the time.
6. Most really having good love in my heart most of the time.
7. Really so good to have time to search my soul.
8. Most I eager not have mad heart, means I am a nice person.
9. Most like good times, very pleasing to my soul (when asked for 3 examples): swinging, feeling I am OK, most awesome music, etc.
10. Most have laughter in my family.
At the age of 22 he began expressing his very personal thoughts and feelings more fluently with me (his mom), and it was his idea to begin writing “The Story of My Life” one day. He is diagnosed with severe autism as well as intermittent explosive disorder. He has given me permission to share his story and our conversations. He continually expresses his desire to “find purpose” to his life…I hope his willingness to share will help others learn about this misunderstood condition known as “autism” that has so much to teach us all.
Jake Thank you for sharing your good thoughts. Sometimes I make a list too and it may be a struggle. I wish you love and mostly good thoughts. You have taught me so much! That is what I love, learning from you!!!
I love your number 2. Have you heard the song “yellow” by Coldplay? This song reminds me of how much God loves me. It says,” look at the stars. Look how they shine for you.” It reminds me I am significant to God. You are too.
Thank you Jake for the positive words …just today Ryan said repeatedly I am nice… when emotions are taking your mind speak Gods word…or your mind gets lost it is hard, Ryan says speak Gods word…the ability to express your thinking with the power of the Holy Spirit and RPM you become victorious!
Thank-You Jan! I read your comment to Jake and asked if he wanted to respond, he said:
“So nice, not stupid to make too real only nice very easy thoughts to our soul”
I absolutely love hearing what Jake has to say. My son is also autistic and though he is verbal, he struggles a lot in his communication. We are also a Christian family and he has told me, too, that he often has evil and bad thoughts. It’s really encouraging to know my son isn’t the only one dealing with this, though I wish he nor Jake had to struggle with it. Jesus is definitely the answer! And btw, I love his #5! I often wish I didn’t have to do the stupid talking, either! 😀 Hugs to you both!
Yes, the frustration they have to deal with seems to make them extra vulnerable to the “lies” as Jake call them – now that I know for certain he completely understands everything I say (even if he can’t respond as though he does) I read to him God’s truth about his worth and he is here because he has a purpose, etc. etc. Thanks for writing, I’m glad you find Jake’s writings encouraging, and I will add your son to my prayers Sommer! Our kids may not be exempt from the attacks of the enemy but Thank-You God we know Jesus who promises us we are protected if we receive Him into our hearts (John 14:27)