Today I asked Jake if he wanted to choose what we worked on or if he’d rather me give him some options. He said he wanted to choose. Then on the letter board he spelled out, “Most have healthy heart, not interested in hate.”
“Ok,” I said, “Do you want to write a story entry on this topic, or have a conversation?”
Jake spelled out, “conversation”.
So here it is:
Mom (Tara/Me): I loved when you said that “hate is a lie.” God is love, the only thing God hates is sin.
Jake: Mom, eager to stop my sins.
Mom: As humans, that is a constant effort, isn’t it? To act in God’s love 24/7.
Jake: God is in our interests. I need that so much.
Mom: I believe God designed all of us to need Him, but the lies and the ignorance sometimes keep us from acknowledging just how much we need Him.
Jake: How much deal only I’m too needy. I have Holy Spirit help, I more capable having dealing my challenges. Not interested in those gigantic lies because I never interested in hating myself again.
Mom: (tearing up) I can’t tell you how grateful I am to hear that, because you are awesome. And you have blessed my life so much, because you’re wonderful. God made you perfectly.
Jake: Mean to deal interested in capabilities as self-worth. Holy Spirit capable of helping deal interested only in love. I needed to most learn how Holy Spirit more reality than my autism.
Mom: That reminds me of the idea of putting God on the throne, putting God first in your life, not your challenges/problems.
Jake: Interested… going… I eager to have reality only love.
Mom: Remember in the Emotions (by Dr. Charles Stanley) book we’re reading, it may take some work only in the sense of your focus – and as a Christian it is the “work” of this life, walking daily in Love with all those we are blessed to encounter.
Jake: I can do that.
Mom: We are so blessed to be able to do that! There’s nothing better! And when we mess up, we are forgiven, and we forgive ourselves and keep going forward.
Jake: Need to deal God I have interest in forgiving, not having anger at my helplessness.
Mom: Yes, your best is always enough, and God is with us. God will help us grow and learn.
Jake: Eager to deal helpless, not hopelessness. Eager to have hope in my future.
Mom: The bible tells us we can’t even imagine all God can do in our lives! So I love that all we have to do is grow our focus, our faith, and trust in Him. That’s our main work.
Jake: Have good reality dealing only in truth and Love.
At the age of 22 he began expressing his very personal thoughts and feelings more fluently with me (his mom), and it was his idea to begin writing “The Story of My Life” one day. He is diagnosed with severe autism as well as intermittent explosive disorder. He has given me permission to share his story and our conversations.
Jake continually expresses his desire to “find purpose” to his life…I hope his willingness to share will help others learn about this misunderstood condition known as “autism” that has so much to teach us all.
Jake So excellent to read your thoughts and ideas about God and love and forgiveness! You have a very loving heart! Your understanding of God is so WONDERFUL! I am happy to think about you! You teach me about kindness! I wish you the best day ever on your birthday! Love, Jan
Jake’s response (via letter board) “So nice to hear from you! Only wish see you sometime.”