Jake and I were about to get started with our table work when I noticed he was pacing around the living room (decorated for Christmas) and trying to hide that he was fighting back tears. I asked if he needed five minutes, and he said verbally “five more minutes.”
Once he seemed to have his emotions more in control, we sat down to work and I offered him 3 options – two lessons or a third option of “conversation or story entry.” He said verbally “conversation” while pointing to that word where I had written the options out on paper. I asked would he like to chat about, and Jake spelled out:
Conversation About Healthy Eagerness Life Same As Others
Jake: Sort of have hard, intense sadness sometimes only wishing I life like others.
Mom: I’m assuming the sadness part is the differences in your physical abilities? And how that results in your life – needing more help?
Jake: Yes, need so much autism help.
Mom: Reminds me of what we read yesterday in the Jesus Calling book – want me to read that again?
Mom: Reads pages 14 & 15 from Jesus Calling For Christmas by Sarah Young:
I am the greatest gift imaginable! When you have Me, you have everything you need – for this life and the next. I have promised to meet all your needs according to my glorious riches. Yet my loved ones sometimes fail to enjoy the riches I provide because of an ungrateful attitude. Instead of rejoicing in all that they have, they long for what they do not have. As a result they become discontented.
I’m training you to practice the sacrifice of thanksgiving – thanking Me in all circumstances. First, give thanks for the blessing you can see in your life. Then stop and ponder the awesome gift of knowing Me. I am your living God, your loving Savior, your constant Companion. No matter how much or how little you have in this world, your relationship with Me makes you immeasurably rich. So whenever you are counting your blessings, be sure to include the infinite wealth you have in Me. Add Me into the equation, and your gratitude will grow exponentially. Whatever you have + Me = an incalculable fortune!
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:19
I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and I will call upon the name of the Lord. Psalm 116:17
Give thanks in all circumstances, this is what God wants from you in union with Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Mom: What do you think?
Jake: Have Christ I have hope more than I can have staying focused on how I not have abilities like others.
Mom: Isn’t that amazing and wonderful? How awesome that Christ provides the possibilities, the path, the answers we all need! And He does that through His word and our hearts, if we let Him. If we receive that awesome gift!
Jake: Need to have more help than most. Not easy to have most interest in how to God center my hopes. Help God is inside my soul. Reality autism need more help more basic body. God can’t or won’t help my body.
Mom: I see God helping your body. Maybe not as fully or exactly as you’re imagining or hoping yet, but I definitely see seeds being planted and sprouts of abilities growing! In what ways do you see God helping your body and ability development?
Jake: Too true. I accomplishing more now my body. Hope I dealing in ways God is really happier with than I used to deal. Need more growth to continue body healing. God not work through hate, have to have love in my heart.
Mom: You are so smart. We are both learning so much about so many things, but I love learning about God’s ways with you the most. I know God works through love and faith in Him and His mighty power – so it is top priority to keep learning more and practicing what we learn.
At this point the buzzer chimed off the hour, and I asked Jake if he had anything else to comment to which he replied “not really” and popped out of the chair to pace around- all smiles.
Do you want more of God’s kindness and peace? Then learn to know Him better and better. 2 Peter 1:2
At the age of 22 he began expressing his very personal thoughts and feelings more fluently with me (his mom), and it was his idea to begin writing “The Story of My Life” one day. He is diagnosed with severe autism as well as intermittent explosive disorder. He has given me permission to share his story and our conversations.
Jake continually expresses his desire to “find purpose” to his life…I hope his willingness to share will help others learn about this misunderstood condition known as “autism” that has so much to teach us all.