Story of My Life Pt. 16 by Jake McClintick 3/17/2019
Reality with autism is so hard sometimes. Most have good talking skills. Most can ask people so many things. Most not like me. Not easy not being able to talk. Real most hard most of the time.
Really wish I could respond to people when they talk to me. Hard because I have not had that ability my entire life. Most deal with me through my parents. Read mad about that, hard sort of life. Most really sick of life trapped in my body that doesn’t have normal skills. Not really sure most have any idea that I desire to respond, so not able to tell them.
Not really mad at myself anymore or my parents. My madness is at nothing anymore. I hate being mad about it. Still sometimes I not sure how love anger away.
God only knows me, how I feel. Not really sure love to hear my reality so not good. Must be honest to God because most loves to help keep heart encouraged. So I can’t get real mad about it.
Have to find a new way to get through, not have anger. To have anger only makes my life worse, not much good. So love is having more trust in God.
To most anger is not average response to having others talk to them, my life is not same as theirs. I am working on my trust in God to let some anger go.
At the age of 22 he began expressing his very personal thoughts and feelings more fluently with me (his mom), and it was his idea to begin writing “The Story of My Life” one day. This is his 16th entry to that story. He is diagnosed with severe autism as well as intermittent explosive disorder. He has given me permission to share his story and our conversations. He continually expresses his desire to “find purpose” to his life…I hope his willingness to share will help others learn about this misunderstood condition known as “autism” that has so much to teach us all.
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